Friday 6 December, 2019






2. On My Wedding day, If You come late You will kneel down outside, I hate nonsense..

3. You are 40, you're still in your father's house struggling for fish head with your siblings. Just know that your village witch is fanning herself with ya picture.

4. This morning my mom was about to go to work and she asked me to bring her lip shine, I mistakenly brought her a glue and she used. Since then she hasn't siad anything, I hope all is well?

5. I was in a bus this morning and i heard an Ibadan girl saying "Not all dat glitters are goats!" I have been fainting since then and faint still dey hungry me

6. I'm in my DAD's car and Rihanna’s song titled “shut up nd drive” is playing.My dad asked me “what is d title of this song”? Since then my heart has been beating hard and i don't know what to say

7. I went to warri recently if you see name of churches i was surprised when i saw a church "Operation carry devil nack for ground bible ministry." Issorite, lemme just go before they say i talk too much

8. Some girls will be scratching their buttocks in public as if it’s recharge card…Haba! Lemme come nd be going joor

9. I'm in a bus right now and someone just said the founder of facebook is mark Nsukkabread. I am just waiting for my turn to faint because we're fainting according to seat number

10. One girl sent me a friend request on Facebook, I accepted her and she wrote *10×4d+* and I replied *5b-3y=0* then she Blocked me.

I never knew she meant "thanks for the add"

I thought we were doing algebra..

11.Imagine I commenting *"you look so beautiful my love"* on my girlfriend's picture and she replys *"thanks bro"* Issorite

12. We are slowly losing our culture in Africa, I just saw a guy washing his hands after eating instead of rubbing the oil on his head.

13. I recognize one of my Facebook friends on d road, when she was about to cross, she didn't see the car coming behind her. Before I could shout "Mhiz pearly issa sexy BadGal cute Bae akosua minaj" watchout!!!

The car had already knocked her down,. I'm now at the burial

14. If your boyfriend is 6 years older than you or more, my sister call him with respect like, Uncle boo, Brother boo, Sir baby etc.

15. She posted "ALL MEN ARE GOATS" and i asked her "Have you given your father grass to eat today?", And she blocked me. Did i say anything bad??

16. My brother if you don't want to send me the money just tell. Which one is "I've been truing your account number but it was switched off"?

17. The ways girls will convince that you are handsome if you have money, you will stand if front of the mirror and you will be like “Maybe I should go into modeling.. My brother don’t be deceived, remain where you are

18. Some slay Queens will be eating like hungry dog in there house but when you take them out for lunch they will be eating like jakinchan in slow motion... I have nothing to tell you, just continue

19. Women will always tell you that men can cheat and tell lies, but they seem to forgeting that "What a man can do, a woman can do better"... Guys are you with me??

20. Some African Parents will be like ‘I will not place curse on you, but whatever you do to me your children will do you same. Is this one a proclamation or a declaration??

21. I just paid 30k to eat just Rice and chicken. I no dey vex oo, but i must pack all their plates, spoon, fork, knife, table, chair, and even their toothpick home. My money cannot just come and waste

22. Queen Elizabeth is 67 years old and England is about **6,000 years**.

Donald Trump is 72 years old and USA is now **241 years** old.after independence

Buhari Mohammadu is 76 years old and Nigeria is **58 years old. And we are complaining of no progress when the president is in Menopause and the country is in puberty, how can we move forward??



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